Dear Ladies, (Especially Girl Moms)
There has been something weighing particularly heavy on my heart. I can’t say it’s a new feeling because I have been feeling it for as long as I can remember. As I grow older and find myself in different professional and personal situations it is easier to deal with, but I am not sure if “deal” is exactly what I’m doing or If I’m just coping with what life throws at me.
Females seem to inherently want to belong, fit in, be a part of the “cool” crowd and have everyone like and accept them for who they are. I’m not writing this to say that will change, OH NO, I’m not doing that. However, I am writing to talk about some ways you can change YOUR mindset to survive whatever life season you find yourself in right now, younger or older.
I must admit that I’m one of the lucky ones. Having the ability to walk into a room and select a group of individuals or an individual to walk up to and connect with, this is something I’ve always been comfortable doing. I am also able to walk into a room of peers and seem confident and courageous in just about any situation.
This is not necessarily an ability I learned overnight how to use to my advantage, but I will be the first to admit it is a personality trait I was born with (thank the Lord) and have learned to hone in on and fine tune when I need it to survive.
YOU can portray confidence in every situation too, and heck, maybe you can even start to feel confident or more confident in most circumstances if you become INTENTIONAL and try.
Yes, I said INTENTIONAL.
I’ve just recently learned about doing this and wish we had all these bloggers, YouTubers and inspirational coaches when I was growing up to teach me that being intentional literally changes the game for you.
Experts in personal development define intentional as actively participating in your life – good or bad. Know what you want; embrace yourself — faults and all; figure out what you want out of life and get rid of people, habits and attitudes that hold you back; learn to forgive yourself and others and put the past in the past; and live in the moment.
Be intentional in all you do and forget about what others think. A friend once told me life is too short for people that don’t make you feel good about yourself, so weed out those that bring you down instead of lift you up. Choose to be intentional in everything you do, every situation you find yourself in andyou will see a diffrence in your over all happieness.
Where this method has the most impact for me isn’t in situations I’m comfortable in, but in situations where I am not. Sure, it’s much easier to sit back and let things happen, have people approach you and just go with the flow. But for me this causes anxiety, feelings of not being accepted, and allows me to get into my own head about how others are responding to my personality, my looks, etc.
When I walk into a room with the intention to connect and be TRUE to who I am, I walk away with a completely different experience with my peers. And I feel better about myself.
There is the other key: be TRUE to YOURSELF, not to what you think others expect of you. This is a hard for us ladies, I know, believe me. I was blessed with a lot of things and like my daughter, having an outgoing personality was one of them, and oh MAN, let me tell you other females are not always a fan of other women who appear to be “confident.” I put confident in quotes because I feel most of us “confident” ladies are just like everyone else. Trying so hard to be accepted, worrying about how others feel about us.
Now I am sure, there are a few anomalies to this theory but I’m not talking about them, I am talking about you and me.
So, being intentional AND true to YOU is literally the secret sauce, ladies. Of course, it is not going to get you accepted in every crowd, but from my experience it will literally lift you up, liberate, and empower you to be who YOU are authentically. Besides, there are some crowds you don’t want to be accepted into!
And who doesn’t want to live a more authentic life?
Love you all and don’t forget to keep being you!