No matter which way you look at it being a Mom is hard work. Despite if you are staying at home all day with the kids (or kid) working from 9-5, working from 9-5 and then working your side job on top of being a Mamma. Single or co-parenting it is all relative…
There is so much pressure on women (sorry men) to be it all. I am not saying men don’t work hard and play an important role, or that there are not single fathers or stay at home Dad’s kicking ass out there.
What am saying is the social pressure and emotional (hormonal) connection to “mom” can get to be unbearable for some women and at times we have no one but ourselves to blame.
I myself am a mother of one (Caroline) working full time in a leadership role at a non-profit organization. On top of my day job I freelance, adjunct lecture and run a photography business. Oh and I am a Mom! My husband has a good job, but it requires him to travel so I often find myself in-between that limbo of co-parenting and suddenly needing to do it all on my own.
I am not sure what my reason or purpose for writing this is, but I felt it is necessary to get it out there and potentially release some of the pressure I feel “doing it all.”
My husband tells me he is proud of me a Director before 30 an Adjunct Lecture at a top University a business owner and a great Mom. I am proud, I have achieved a lot in the past 30 years of my life and I thrive on the feeling of success and the impact I am making in the community I serve. I also manage to workout a train for half marathons and constantly chase (literally) the want and need to be a fit mom.
Then why do I feel like I am missing so much, missing out on my daughter, missing out on experiences. Time is always on my mind…if I get here 10 min early I can sneak out get more time with my daughter put her to sleep, grade papers, edit photos, meet with potential clients.
There is never enough time and it is always seeming to fly by . Some times all I cant think about is a way to escape time, is it work for myself? Find remote job? I am not sure but I do know I often find myself obsession over a way to escape the hectic Mom hustle I find my self in and just be a mom.
It is all SO over whelming……….. so why do I do this?
I feel the pressure like a ton of bricks be a Mom that “hustles” to bring in as much income as my husband. I want to be able to experience life with my daughter, travel the world but also provide a structured stable home life. That is why I hustle.
I see other moms while I am on my lunch break when I sneak off to Target to pick up more diapers. I look at them with their babies or toddlers and I feel overwhelmed with sadness. Did I make the wrong choice? I am proud of my career, I really am, but I miss my girl, I miss so many of those precious moments, but I also get time to myself, time to be ME not just Mommy.
This is good right?